Home again, home again.

I have been back in Oregon for 3 days now. Still not sunk in.

Friday night I went out to gyros with Voula, Mihály, Aaron, Luke, Zeb and Casey, then walked around the West End mall, ending in the food court, eating ice cream out of a carton we'd bought at Match. Later several of the remaining BSM students and Anna met at Szimpla for a drink and hugs and reminiscing. The final goodbyes were the hardest, but the last things people say to eachother can be hilarious and enlightening. As I said goodbye to Bill, I said "We're pretty much the same person when we're drunk, aren't we?" and he replied "I don't know if that's just when we're drunk..." When I said goodbye to Joe I mentioned "Remember that night we kind of cuddled?" to which he said "You know, Jessie, you stole all the blankets that night, but I didn't have the heart to wake you up so I just shivered all night." I was sobbing by the time we left. Mihály walked me home. When I got up too my room I realized that I hadn't finished the goodbye present I'd started for Éva, so I sat and needlepointed drunk, finishing the little square I had started. It was black and said "Szép Napot" in blue with a yellow sun. Szép napot means 'beautiful day'; it's what Éva always said to Sarah and I as we were leaving for school in the morning. I almost missed my minibus to the airport because I went to bed drunk and only allowed myself an hour and a half of sleep. Really, a fantastic idea on my part. This led to a very hurried goodbye to Éva, but I managed to not forget anything there, as far as I know. I need to e-mail her daughter and explain why my departure was so bizarre...

Traveling was fine. There were 4 other BSM students on my flight from Budapest to Frankfurt, and then 2 other Lewis and Clark students on my flight from Frankfurt to Portland.

I abused my body my last 3 days in Budapest, getting no sleep and drinking a whole lot of beer... This caught up to me once I was safely back at Rob's, where I slept for 13 hours (not quite straight through).

It still hasn't hit me that I'm home yet. The striking differences between America and Hungary are little things. Budapest is Westernized enough that the grocery store and the cars and the nicely dressed people don't surprise me... but the toilets and the light switches? Bizarre! I also find myself saying "boscánat" instead of "excuse me" when I bump into someone in a store or on the street.

The time difference has been killing me. I've been trying my hardest not to get grouchy in the afternoon and evening when my body's telling me I should be asleep. Luckily, besides the first night, I've been having no trouble sleeping through the night.

There are people I wish I'd gotten to say goodbye to that I didn't. But coincidence works in funny ways sometimes, so you never know when I'll run into them again.

I thought I'd have more to say about being back. Maybe it'll take me still more time to realize just how acutely the last four months have effected me, besides making me realize that I am not cut out for a career in math, that I can survive in a country where I do not speak the language, and that long distance relationships are very, very hard. We'll have to see how it all pans out, I guess.