Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Home again, home again.

I have been back in Oregon for 3 days now. Still not sunk in.

Friday night I went out to gyros with Voula, Mihály, Aaron, Luke, Zeb and Casey, then walked around the West End mall, ending in the food court, eating ice cream out of a carton we'd bought at Match. Later several of the remaining BSM students and Anna met at Szimpla for a drink and hugs and reminiscing. The final goodbyes were the hardest, but the last things people say to eachother can be hilarious and enlightening. As I said goodbye to Bill, I said "We're pretty much the same person when we're drunk, aren't we?" and he replied "I don't know if that's just when we're drunk..." When I said goodbye to Joe I mentioned "Remember that night we kind of cuddled?" to which he said "You know, Jessie, you stole all the blankets that night, but I didn't have the heart to wake you up so I just shivered all night." I was sobbing by the time we left. Mihály walked me home. When I got up too my room I realized that I hadn't finished the goodbye present I'd started for Éva, so I sat and needlepointed drunk, finishing the little square I had started. It was black and said "Szép Napot" in blue with a yellow sun. Szép napot means 'beautiful day'; it's what Éva always said to Sarah and I as we were leaving for school in the morning. I almost missed my minibus to the airport because I went to bed drunk and only allowed myself an hour and a half of sleep. Really, a fantastic idea on my part. This led to a very hurried goodbye to Éva, but I managed to not forget anything there, as far as I know. I need to e-mail her daughter and explain why my departure was so bizarre...

Traveling was fine. There were 4 other BSM students on my flight from Budapest to Frankfurt, and then 2 other Lewis and Clark students on my flight from Frankfurt to Portland.

I abused my body my last 3 days in Budapest, getting no sleep and drinking a whole lot of beer... This caught up to me once I was safely back at Rob's, where I slept for 13 hours (not quite straight through).

It still hasn't hit me that I'm home yet. The striking differences between America and Hungary are little things. Budapest is Westernized enough that the grocery store and the cars and the nicely dressed people don't surprise me... but the toilets and the light switches? Bizarre! I also find myself saying "boscánat" instead of "excuse me" when I bump into someone in a store or on the street.

The time difference has been killing me. I've been trying my hardest not to get grouchy in the afternoon and evening when my body's telling me I should be asleep. Luckily, besides the first night, I've been having no trouble sleeping through the night.

There are people I wish I'd gotten to say goodbye to that I didn't. But coincidence works in funny ways sometimes, so you never know when I'll run into them again.

I thought I'd have more to say about being back. Maybe it'll take me still more time to realize just how acutely the last four months have effected me, besides making me realize that I am not cut out for a career in math, that I can survive in a country where I do not speak the language, and that long distance relationships are very, very hard. We'll have to see how it all pans out, I guess.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Last Day in Budapest

Grades for the semester:
Introduction to Abstract Algebra - Audit
Graph Theory - C
Number Theory - B+
Intermediate Hungarian - A-

WELL DONE JESSIE, YOU GET A GOLD STAR!

Night before last was Kyle's last night. The usual crew plus one or two more (Me, Voula, Mihaly, Aaron, Luke, Zeb, Casey, Kyle and Mark) had dinner at Voula's, then drank some Egri Bikaver and lots of Dreher. Kyle caught a taxi from Voula's house at 1 am, to go spend the night in the airport. He's in Rome now, followed by.. a bunch of other places. Then he'll be back in Budapest for another semester here. Too bad next semester's BSM-ers won't be nearly as fantastic as this semester's...

Farewell party was yesterday, followed by Christmas market with Voula, Aaron, Casey, Mark and Mihaly, Spirited Away at Mihaly's, beer pong at Marcus', where Mark and I got our asses handed to us, and then finally to Morrison's for one last night of drunken karaoke. Someone requested Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Green Day and it was sad and emotional. I'm going to miss everyone here so much and it still hasn't sunk in that this experience is drawing to a close.

It better sink in soon, there's not much time left. Really. I get picked up by the airport minibus at 4:10 am tomorrow, my flight takes off at 6:40 from Ferihegy, and I land at PDX at noon. Ridiculous.

Today is a day for frantic packing (I did some yesterday, but probably not enough), hanging out with Voula, writing to the future girls who will be living in my apartment, and going out tonight with everyone. So many goodbyes to say.


I probably won't post again until I'm back in the states. I'll keep writing while I'm adjusting, to bring this whole thing full circle.




It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right. I hope you had the time of your life.

If only those cliche lyrics didn't ring so true...

Sunday, December 16, 2007

And I saw that the ringing was coming from your throat

This time next week I will be back in Oregon.

I've been having mixed feelings about going home. I'll get excited for a little while, then something will happen that makes me remember how much I love everyone here, then I get all sad again. Honestly, I can barely wrap my head around it. Before I left for Budapest I couldn't actually envision leaving. Now that I'm here I can barely think about what being home is going to be like. What am I going to do without a Voula to cuddle with and listen to me moan about boys and a Casey to color and eat Nutella with and a Kristoff to eat raw meat with and an Aaron to be whiny with and a Bruce to be my big brother and a Kyle to talk about scrubs with and a Mihály to talk about poop with and a Pat to do magic tricks for me? I am going to miss my friends here so much. I know I will see Voula again, that's just kind of a duh thing. Plus that would give me an excuse to visit my Boston relatives. I will see Kyle next summer when he drives through Oregon. And Kristoff is going to run the Portland marathon next year, mostly as an excuse to visit me and eat Sushi Takahashi and Voodoo Donuts. Also if I ever go to New York to visit Kate, they both live in Rochester suburbs.

I am going to miss the beer and the music I've listened to here and the delicious food and the walks around the city. The walking. I am not going to get this much walking every day probably for the rest of my life. My shoes are all worn down. I'm considering leaving my Vans in Hungary, they're so worn out. My socks are all full of holes, I only have a couple of intact pairs left.

This last week has gone by so fast. I've started making friends with people I've barely talked to through this whole program and now I only have a week left to hang out with them.

My Hungarian final was on Monday. I'm not sure how I did on the final, but I know that I got an A- in the class, so I'm not complaining.

On Tuesday, Aaron, Voula, Mihály and I went to the Opera. Strauss' Elektra was playing (which, contrary to popular belief, is not based on the Marvel comic book), but it was kind of a re-imagining of the Greek myth. It took place in a bath house, had naked people, and ended with Orestes killing Elektra with a machine gun. Huh.

Friday was my Graph Theory final. The prof stayed and graded them and calculated our final grades, which is possibly the only nice, considerate thing he did the entire semester. Kristoff and I went in together to find out or final grades. He went in before me and came back out, triumphantly saying "C is for Chris Chilas! And also for cookie!". I went in right after him to claim my own C. I got a D on the final, but for completely stupid reasons. The last question was entirely dependent on whether or not we were either well versed in probability theory, or had written down the proof of the lower bound of R(k, k) on our note sheet (not that that makes any sense to anyone). And I am neither well versed in probability theory, and I hadn't written that proof on my note sheet. So that was one question down. But whatever, I got a C in the class and my grades aren't transferring to LC, only the credit is. Hooray!

Friday afternoon I hung out with Haggai and Dan, then went to Voula's for pancakes and applesauce and Grave of the Fireflies, then met up with Haggai again for a long walk around the city in the very, very cold.

Yesterday daytime was full of Hungarian's. Éva planned a farewell lunch for me and Sarah and invited her daughters, Erika and Monika, and Monika's family (husband and two young sons). There was so much food. I started falling asleep after we ate, so I went into my room, took an hour and a half nap, then came back out for more socializing. Went over to Voula's once Erika, Monika, et al had left, hung out with her, Zeb and Luke, then once they'd left I made dinner for Voula and I (reggeli sandwiches and salami). Casey, Jon and Yuan came over pretty soon afterwards with wine, so we played drinking games, drank the (absolutely foul) wine, then metroed over to Morrison's for karaoke, tons of dancing and a couple pints. Our student coordinator, Anna Fóti, had her birthday this last week so we convinced her to come out with us, too. Casey, Jon and I walked back to Buda around 2:30 and I crashed in Voula's bed (she'd headed out a little earlier).

Woke up this morning a little másnapos (hungover), had some tea at Voula's, then came home, showered, ate breakfast, then came over here to California Coffee Company, where I am currently sitting and procrastinating.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Cuzzie Weekend Pictures!

Me and Voula being cute


Making faces at the pancake place.


All of us at Voula's birthday.


Birthday muffins.


Aaron is distressed. Voula is not.


Totoros I drew on Voula's birthday card.


Imitating Aaron's face.


My cuzzie makes funny faces.


Stacking cocktail animals Casey and I found at Tesco.


Mihály worships Aaron. Even though Aaron is sad.


Cuzzie's getting zesty.


Casey gets zesty (and doesn't like having pictures taken)


Voula squeezing lemons for the baklava.


Bill and George Clooney. They're pals.


Friday's birthday girl by the castle.


Bruce and Casey being cute by the castle


Bill, Kate, Bruce and Joe


Kristoff and Bridget waiting for the talent show to start


Playing games, waiting for the talent show to start.


Kristoff reading poetry.


Sarah showing us all how she makes cookies without a recipe.


Katie reciting a Russian poem.


A couple of very special songs, direct from the PNWD.


Michael Feinberg burping the ABC's. I almost threw up a little.


"Lookin' 'round the room, I can see that you are the most beautiful girl in the... room"


Voula works some flutey magic


Magic Pat! Pat really made Kate's weekend.


Haggai has been teaching swing lessons to BSM-ers all semester and Katie has been one of his students. They used the talent show to exhibit their mad skills. Paul played impromptu piano for them.


Kyle shoulder-pressing Voula

Sunday, December 9, 2007

A Long Weekend With a Cuzzie

In the last couple of weeks I've been taking pictures of my walk to and from school, around Budapest, etc. I put them all in a Picasa album. Maybe you'd like to check them out?

I had my cuzzamalina in town this weekend! Thursday afternoon it took a little less than an hour on public transportation to get to Férihegy to pick Kate up, then together we took public transportation back to Deák where we met up with Mihály, Luke, Aaron, Casey and Voula to go out to dinner for Voula's birthday. We ended up at a trendy pasta bar in downtown Pest. After dinner we metroed back to Voula's for surprise cupcakes Casey and I had made Wednesday afternoon and cheap champagne from Tesco. After the festivities had wound down I walked back home and Kate stayed at Voula and Casey's (Éva wanted to charge Kate 3000 ft/night to stay at our flat, so Casey and Voula volunteered their extra mattress)

Friday I met Casey and Kate at the metro and Kate came to Graph Theory with us. After Graph Theory Kate and I departed College International for the Christmas Market at Vörösmarty tér and the other market near Oktogon, stopping for lunch at a restaurant we nearby that had a Greek/Hungarian lunch buffee for 1100 ft. After lunch we poked around the market a little more, then metroed back to Voula and Casey's where we made BAKLAVA. I now know how to make filo dough successfully! Aaron came over and we made pasta for dinner, then Kate and I left to meet Halcy and others at Heroes Square for a walking tour of Budapest. We walked the length of Andrassy, from Heroes Square to the Buda castle, stopping to buy beer at NonStops along the way and meeting Voula, Aaron and Casey at Opera. There was a group of about 15 of us in the end, at the castle. We stopped at Voula's to use her bathroom, then the group of us, sans Voula, Casey and Aaron, went to Morrison's for singing, dancing, etc. Kate and I walked back to Voula's about 2 and crashed.


In the morning(ish) we ate baklava for breakfast, then walked back to my house where I took a quick shower and my host mama fed us (more) breakfast, then it was off to touristy things! We hit the castle, met up with Kristoff, Bridget, and Kelly for the market, went by Szt Istvan's, got coffee, then met up with Kyle at Heroes Square to go to the Szechenyi baths in city park. The baths were wonderful! This was my first time going, even though I've been here for ages now.

After the baths we grabbed gyros for dinner, then it was to Christina's for the BSM Talent/No-Talent show! Minor crisis when we discovered the boy who was supposed to be bringing the guitar couldn't come, but crisis was averted when Kyle and his roommate went back to their apartment and brought back their (very sketchy) electric guitar. Kristoff read some poetry, I brought my traditional talent show act, Paul played jazz piano, Mark and Kyle sang a Flight of the Conchords song, Katie recited a poem in Russian, Sarah showed us how to make cookies without a recipe, Michael Feinberg burped the alphabet, Katie and Haggai swing danced... it really was a rolicking success!

After the talent show, Me, Kate, Mark, Kyle and Haggai went to Szimpla, a nearby bar, and sat and talked for a while, then Kate and I walked back to Buda.

On Sunday morning Kate and I went back to the airport, had coffee, changed her money, bought a pastry and said goodbye. Oh what a wonderful weekend with the cuzzamalina! I took public transportation back to Mihály, Pat and Bruce's, watched the new episode of Scrubs, then it was off to California Coffee Company to conquer Number Theory with Bridget and Kyle.

In happy news, I discovered that Bruce has a Compact Flash drive on his computer... so there are billions of pictures of this weekend! Since this entry is already long, I am going to put them in another entry.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Mikulás!

In Hungary (and many other places in Europe) Santa (Mikulás, a distortion of Miklos, which is the Hungarian version of Nicholas) doesn't come on Christmas eve. He comes the night of December 5th and leaves little presents in your shoes, and then Christmas eve family presents are exchanged. More on Mikulás here.

Yesterday College International hosted a Mikulas party. It started with food (which we showed up late for and missed out on) and was followed by presentations from different countries. There are (I believe) about 45 countries represented by College International. BSM is not the only program that takes classes in this building, this is also where the McDaniel: Budapest campus is, and there's also some sort of pre-med program. The McDaniel students presented some Christmas carols, a Japanese girl played piano, some of the Israeli students lit a menora and said a Hannukah blessing since it was the second night of Hannukah, the Skandenavian students did a Santa Lucia procession with candles, and two Chinese students performed, one on Bamboo flute and the other some sort of Karaoke.

After the performances there were games, karaoke, movies and Greek dancing. The BSM students got put in charge of the 'Mind Games' room. We were good, nerdy students and played Set, did the Red hat/Black hat logic puzzle and Bill read some minds using math. Casey and I went back to her and Voula's after that, she and I did some Number Theory, and then the three of us watched Love Actually.

This morning I was sitting at the breakfast table and Éva ran out to buy more bread. When she came back she told me that she had run into Mikulás on the street and that he wanted her to let me know that I had been a good girl and that he wanted me to have a foil wrapped chocolate Santa.


Today is the day Kate gets here! And it's Voula's birthday! The 8 of us (Me, Kate, Voula, Casey, Luke, Zeb, Mihály and Aaron) are going out to celebrate after I pick Kate up from the airport. Tomorrow is Halcy's birthday and she's organized a (drunken) walking tour of Budapest to celebrate that. I'm excited for that, since it'll be a good way for Kate to see the city and meet some more of my friends. Saturday night is the talent/no-talent show I've been (sort of) organizing, which cuzzie will also be here for. Talents I've heard might possibly be performed are a guitar duet, a Rubik's cube being solved while Dan stands on one foot and holds his breath, and Kyle shoulder pressing Voula. There will be much more, I'm sure, since we have two guitars and a piano at our disposal.

In school-ey news I have decided that I am going to audit Algebra since I have absolutely no idea what is going on in that class, and haven't for over a month. The material is too abstract, I don't get enough one on one time with the professor, and our schedule was so funny for a while (several missed classes, and several 3 hour long marathon classes to make up for it) it threw me off.

Two problems with deciding to audit:

1.) I will probably only be recieving between 9 and 12 credits for all the work I have done here, leaving me a bit behind on my credit requirements, which means I will have to take 2 classes this summer instead of the one I was expecting.

2.) I was intending on taking Abstract Algebra 2 with one of my favorite professors from LC, Naiomi Cameron, next semester, but since I am having so much trouble with Algebra I don't think I'll be able to take it. I wrote her telling her this, and she wrote back, saying that only 2 of us, myself and Amy, are registered for that class for next semester, and only one other person is considering taking it. If I don't take it, the class might be cancelled altogether. She told me that even though I'm auditing, if I have picked up enough this semester in Algebra 1, that she will let me take Algebra 2 next semester. The problem is that I'm not sure if I've picked up enough... this is something I'll have to figure out...

For now it's time to do a little Number Theory, then go to Abstract. Then more number theory, then braving the long ride on public transportation to the airport. Hooray!!

Note on the absence of pictures: My camera is no longer recognized by my computer when I plug it in. It's a problem with the camera, not the computer. I also have the largest memory card in existence in my camera, so it doesn't fit in anyone else's camera (You know, so I could put it in someone else's camera and plug it in to my computer) besides Aaron's. So I need to get ahold of Aaron's camera and upload some pictures because I took a bunch of my walk to school and my neighborhood and of course, a lot more of my friends.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

20 days.

The count to home is now 20 days. Important dates in the next three weeks (starting Friday, the day before last):
  • 11.30 - Final Graph Theory assignment turned in
  • 12.1 - Putnam
  • 12.3 - Algebra homework due (possibly last assignment?)
  • 12.5 - Number Theory extra credit and homework due
  • 12.6 - Voula's birthday, and cousin Kate comes in from Edinburgh! to stay until Sunday
  • 12.7 - Halcy's birthday
  • 12.8 - BSM talent show (hopefully)
  • 12.10 - Hungarian final exam (I think)
  • 12.13 - Algebra final exam
  • 12.14 - Graph Theory final exam and last day of classes
  • 12.17 - Exam week begins (although the only exam I'll have during this week is Number Theory, I think
  • 12.20 - Farewell party
  • 12.22 - Fly home
The Putnam was, you know, fun... in that really nerdy kind of way. If I get even 1 point on it my name will be immortalized on a plaque on the LC math department wall. And I think I may have even managed that this year? I got a big old donut last year, but who knows, I think I made significant progress to a solution on one of the problems this year.

If this program has made me discover one thing, it is that I am not a math person. I was talking to Voula on Friday about it and realized that this situation is very similar to my relationship to piano. I am passable at piano because I took lessons for 8 years, but I never had the natural talent and I never had the drive to practice enough to make me really good. And this is how I am with math. I am don't have the natural talent to make me a genius, and I don't have the drive or interest to study hard enough to make me good at it. But just like I'll be able to pull a sonatina out of my butt when I sit at a piano years and years after my last lesson and wow people because my fingers still remember the motions, I will sit down with my kids with their AP Calculus homework and freak them out because my brain will still remember the motions.

But in the immediate future there isn't much more math. One more semester at LC and I'll be done with my major (projected classes are Computer Science 1, Complex Analysis, Voting Theory and German Lit in Translation - I was going to take Algebra 2, but since Algebra 1 is kicking my booty so hard I don't think that's going to happen) and that'll be the end of math. I'll need summer term to finish up on credits, so I think I'll just take a studio art class. And then after that?

Maybe I'll work in a craft store and on the side I will do craft projects I can sell and probably write a lot and try to get somewhere with that. I don't know why it didn't occur to me before that writing is something that could actually get me somewhere. Maybe it's because I hate hate HATE writing classes. I was in Creative Nonfiction last semester and hated every minute of it. But then I realize I keep up 4 blogs and a paper journal. And I've never gone more than a couple of months without writing in some form of journal, whether online or on paper.

But who knows where I'll be in a year... honestly, your guess is as good as mine!